15yr old grand daughter being given wine coolers by mother what can a grand father - Wine Advice Forums - Wine Buying, Selling, Tasting and Drinking Discussion

merllin l · #1 11-14-2008, 09:45 PM

do to stop it? my son is getting a divorce 2 kids 10 &15 grils . 15 yr. old is being given wine coolers how can I stop this as I live about 400mi. away . they live in wi. I live in mi. is their some way to monetor the mother that is giving the wine coolers

Guitar Guy · #2 12-22-2008, 02:10 PM

I wish I could help. In most states, you can't call the cops because it's legal to give minors alcohol in the home. Outside is a different story. There would have to be an obvious endangerment issue being caused by the drinking or the minor would have to be getting massive amounts or be extremely young for you to get them in trouble.

I would suggest keeping a log of calls and stuff that you get from the granddaughters on the subject. It could help your son get custody during negotiations.

ShouldBeWorking · #3 12-22-2008, 03:33 PM

You could call Child Protection Services. Just be careful though, because if she knows it was you who did this, and feels justified in her actions, you will have a hard time seeing your grandchildren, which probably mean the world to you.

drumbum · #4 12-22-2008, 04:12 PM

There is nothing you can do. As long as the mother is only giving them to her daughter, it is NOT ILLEGEL. She can buy her a drink at a bar and give it to her as long as they are within arms reach for heaven's sake.
It doesn't matter if she gives her 5 or 1, as long as it's within the house or arms reach, it's not illegel.
Besides the content in an average wine cooler is pretty weak.
Calm down if she isn't suppling to a party.
Unless this girl is in severe danger like abuse, do you want to cause problems? Seperate that family? It sounds like your the in-law and want revenge. What did the mother do to your son?

skypilot5973 · #5 12-22-2008, 06:24 PM

Your only course of action, unless you have another friend or relative intheir area, is to call the authorities (police, child protection people) and set the wheels in motion to resolve it that way. You might apply to the court for custody of your granddaughter if no one else is available who lives closer.

Her mother is breaking the law by supplying liquor to a minor.

Evil Independent · #6 12-22-2008, 06:42 PM

Call the police in the city where the girls live.

Jay G · #7 12-22-2008, 07:13 PM

I don't know the best course for you to take. If it is a small amount, it's probably best not to meddle. I can tell you that calling child services is NOT the answer. These people can be extremely cold hearted and clinical and once they get in your life, they never go away. If the mother (or father for that matter) finds out you did that, they will never forgive you. Child services should only be contacted if a child is in danger by abuse or neglect. Certainly not for an occasional wine cooler.

AMO 45 · #8 12-22-2008, 07:14 PM

contact the department of children and families in the area they live in also they're local police station should be able to advise you,this is never acceptable behavior for a parent and definitely illegal!

Logic316 · #9 12-22-2008, 07:32 PM

The question is, how much is she giving her? If she's getting the kid drunk or allowing unrestricted access to alcohol, then of course that's a problem. But if, let's say, its just a wine cooler with dinner that I really don't see the big deal. In continental Europe, it's traditional and commonplace to allow young teens to have a small glass of wine or beer with dinner at home with proper parental supervision. That's how young adults learn to consume alcohol moderately in a social setting, and are at the same time discouraged from drinking just for the sake of overindulging and getting drunk. We could use more of that balanced sensibility here in the United States, instead of outright abstinence which actually does nothing more than promote rebelliousness and irresponsible drinking. Contrary to popular belief, in most states it is actually perfectly legal for a parent to give alcohol to a child at home.

jonni_hayes · #10 12-22-2008, 07:33 PM

I know you mean well, but it is your son and daughter in law that are getting the divorce, and there is not much of a means of watching this mother and or the grand children from the distance that you live apart, just continue to love them, and be there for them....but don't be a meddler, your grand daughters could possibly not only turn on you, but your son as well....maybe they could have an amicable divorce....and things will settle down..